peeps

As I write this, it is Easter Sunday, 2013. Though my least favorite of holidays, Easter brings about a special time of year when marshmallow Peeps are sold at grocery and drug stores nationwide, often in a wide variety of colors and a few different shapes. Some other varieties are sold for other seasons when marshmallow shapes seem less appropriate, but my excitement when this time of year comes about is over the classic, chick-shaped Peeps in pastel colors (yellow, pink, blue, green and sometimes purple).

Frankly, no other shape will do, because for me Peeps announce the coming of Peeps Jousting, a sporting season lasting in the weeks generally between Valentine's Day and ending the day after Easter. For those of you unsure as to what Peeps Jousting is, allow me to explain.

Peeps Jousting Tutorial

You will need the following:
(At least) 2 packages of Peeps in different colors
A microwave
Several toothpicks (can be reused a few times)
Several paper plates (probably cannot be reused)

1. Two Peeps of different colors are placed on either side of the paper plate, with toothpicks sticking out of either of their right sides, as if they are about to joust one another.

2. The plate is placed in the microwave for a few seconds (watch it!). The Peeps will expand rapidly in the heat, and one will "pop" the other (in most cases). Be sure to watch closely for this bit. The one that pops the other is the winner, and gets a point for its color.

3. This is repeated until all of the Peeps are gone. The winner is the color with the most points by the end of the tournament.

Anyway, the day after Easter is known by some as "National Peeps Jousting Day," when Peeps can be purchased at a discounted price for hardcore-tournamenting. The proper and most commonly accepted way to celebrate the holiday is to buy one package of each color and hold a true tournament, one that ends in you crowning one color as the victor that season (the Peep Cup winner, if you will).

Personally, I find that the Pink and Blue teams most often hold the title, but hold your own tournament and keep track yourself. Let this post-Easter day be the first National Peeps Jousting Day you celebrate properly and spectacularly, and turn it into a tradition. Children love it, as do people that do drugs or have ever done drugs or also drink.

Just be sure to have a fire extinguisher on hand. Just in case.